You have reached the voicemail box of Gurglon Pinchubrintz.

Pet Sitting is written by Matt Braman and features the voices of Ryan Jenkins as Nebbix, William Crook as Mrs. Fleese, Ricco Machado-Torres as Joburn, Jenae Hirsch as Chadrick, Kitt Keller as the Answering Machine, and Matt Braman as Gurglon Pinchubrintz.

Sound by Conrad Miszuk.

SCENE: 
A SERIES OF VOICEMAILS

SFX 1: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

NEBBIX: Hi Gurglon, its Nebbix. Just wanted to let you know everything’s cool with Winkums. Your key card didn’t work, but I got a copy from Joburn the station super, so I can feed her and clean her mucus trove. I have to say I’m honored that you would think of me to take care of your Mammoth slug while you’re out of the system. Sometimes I feel like you guys don’t like me that much and you just let me hang out at the Cantina with you because you’re too polite to ask me to leave more than a couple times. I was afraid you kept forgetting to invite me to your D&D&D games because I argue with the DM a lot. But it’s like, rules are rules you know? But then you asked me to watch Winkums for you and I was like, “Dabs! He really does like me. So, anyway thanks. And congrats on your ex step cousin’s joining ritual. Talk to you soon.

SFX 2: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

CHADRICK: Gurglon, my zod from another pod. Sorry I couldn’t get back to you sooner. I was at the Boba Tea Springs on Kylondrio. Terrible reception. But the view, my Glob. So androgynous. Any beans, I’m afraid I can’t take care of Winkums. I know you already asked Hoopy and Bri-Bri and they said no, but I have a court date for piloting while drinking again. If I miss one more I will lose my drinking license. So hit me up when you get back and we’ll finish that D&D&D Campaign. Just don’t invite Nebbix. Fragging rules lawyer. Oh and congratulations on your ex step cousin’s joining ritual. Sent!

SFX 3: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

NEBBIX: Hi, Gerglon, Nebbix checking in again. Everything is fine. I did have some questions about Winkums. She has not eaten anything, but she is getting bigger. Like, a lot bigger. And has hair now. Well, not hair, so much as quills I guess. I did not know mammoth slugs could do that. Also I think she growled at me? Anyway everything is fine just checking in so, uh, have a, um, see you later.

SFX 4: GROWLING

SFX 5: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

MRS FLEESE: Hello? Is this Gurglon Pichubrintz? This is Mrs Fleese, Nebbix’s mother. He never came home for supper. By the way you are also invited for supper again. I hope your health issues clear up soon and you will eventually be able to finally take us up on that invitation.

MRS FLEESE/CONT’D OVER…

MRS FLEESE: I am a little concerned because he has never missed supper before and his blorg roast is getting cold. Since he said you are best friends, I figured you would know where to find him. This is his mother, Mrs Fleese. Also, congratulations on your ex step cousin’s joining ritual. Goodbye.

SFX 6: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

JOBURN: Hello, Mr. Pichubrintz. This is Joburn, your station super. Thanks again for your patience with the leaky waste vaporizer. I was wondering if I could, uh, if you had a contact number for the person who was- who is pet sitting for you. I may have, probably not, but maybe may have given them the key card to your neighbor Mister Grimple’s unit.

JOBURN/CONT’D OVER…

JOBURN: I don’t know if you know, it was in the newsletter, I know not everybody reads the newsletter, but it was, uh, Mr. Grimple is an Epiphage, so he asked not to be disturbed during his annual transmogrification. I guess Epiphages can, if they encounter a being with, during their thing, a being with skin, they might, um, they could, uh, they might eat their skin. Again, not likely, like almost definitely not, but, yeah, if you have that number, call me as soon as possible. Also, congrats on your ex step cousin’s joining ritual. Warmest Regards.

SFX 7: You have reached the voicemail of (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) please leave a message after the scream. (SCREAM)

NEBBIX: (WHISPERING) Gurglon, it’s Nebbix. I think there’s something wrong with Winkums. I came in to feed her and the lights went out and I got trapped in some kind of sticky gel and I can’t get the door open. I don’t see her anywhere but I keep hearing this sort of…

SFX 8: GROWLING

NEBBIX: I am scared Gurglon. I don’t want to interrupt your ex step cousin’s joining ritual, but I would appreciate it if you came home soon. I’m so sorry. It’s just, I can’t feel my legs now and I think- I think I might die. It’s really hard to breathe. If I don’t make it I just want you to know that you are my best friend. And also tell Hoopy and Bri-Bri… wisdom is not a dump sta- AAAAHAH!!

SFX 9: VORE

SFX 10: The mailbox belonging to (GURGLON PICHUBRINTZ) is full. Please call back later.

THE END