A preview for the next episode of heart-pounding soap opera Space of Our Lives. The Sputnik and Greeb Law Group is working for YOU.

SCENE 7A: SPACE OF OUR LIVES PROMO

NARRATOR:    After Between the Decks, stay tuned for an all new Space of Our Lives.

SFX 1:    Gentle synth music.

ROCK:    This is Captain Rock Hardley of the Starship Eros. We’ve been lost in space for three years now, ever since the engines went into full speed go fast mode and we haven’t been able to slow them down.

GALA:    Captain! We’re headed straight for an asteroid field!

ROCK:    Can we navigate through the asteroids? They’re usually hundreds of kilometers apart.

GALA:    I’m afraid not, captain. These asteroids are far too tight. It’s asteroid to asteroid. 

ROCK:    Full speed space starboard!

GALA:    But we can’t do that, captain! Space starboard will take us directly through…

MFX 2:    A music sting.

GALA:    Horny Space!

NARRATOR:    On an unforgettable Space of Our Lives…

ROCK:    Is it getting warmer in here, Commander Gala or, is it–

GALA:    It’s the horny space, captain.

ROCK:    It’s just… all of a sudden I feel too sexy for my space onesie. 

GALA:    We have to keep it together, captain, or we’ll never get out of horny space. 

NARRATOR:    Find out what happens… on an all new Horny Space– I mean Space of Our Lives.

GALA:    But captain!

ROCK:    It’s the only way, number one.

GALA:    We need to keep our wits about us!

ROCK:    I just need to clear my head!

SCOTT:    (Scottish) No, captain! You’ll steer us straight for sub space!

ROCK:    I know what I’m doing.

GALA:    Just give me an order… captain.

ROCK:    No. You tell me what to do.

NARRATOR:    An all new Space of Our Lives. Next.

SCENE 7B: SPUTNIK AND GREEB – MAD SCIENTIST

SPUTNIK:            I’m Gorglax Sputnik.

GREEB:    And I’m Marty Greeb.

BOTH:    And we’re the Sputnik and Greeb Law Group.

SPUTNIK:    Are you a legitimate scientist who’s had your life’s work confiscated or destroyed because it’s “an affront to nature” or “dangerous to the continued existence of the known universe” or “just completely and entirely illegal”.

GREEB:    Well, the Sputnik and Greeb Law Group is ready to fight for you!

PROF. NIHILATE:    They tried to say I was mad! Mad! Would a madman have a such an exquisite compilation of doomsday lasers? Well, after the pitchfork-wielding mob invaded my orbiting space fortress somehow and destroyed my beautiful megabomb, I was devastated. All those years of work! The research! The thousands of live test subjects! Gone! 

    I couldn’t let them get away with it. I asked around and my old college friend Dr. von Zerstörung recommended the Sputnik and Greeb Law Group, so I gave them a call. 

SPUTNIK:    We made sure Professor Nihilate recovered full compensation and damages.

PROF. NIHILATE:    We showed them! We showed them all!

GREEB:    Another satisfied client.

SPUTNIK:    If you need legal representation for literally any reason except parking violations, call the Sputnik and Greeb Law Group.

BOTH:     TODAY.